Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you for all the kind words , both email wise and in the comment section! I need comfort, more than ever right now !
I'll try to get to the library as soon as possible so that I can borrow a book I've wanted to read for a long time; The land that never was! Last time I was looking for it was a few months ago at Foyles, when I found out that they had not ordered the book into the store in about ten years - I started to look at the beautiful covers of Penguin's Classics 2013. I held a sample of Moby Dick when a man came up to me and asked me if I had read the book, later on he tried to start some kind of conversation and I started to panic. I made an excuse and rushed off to another shelf. In retrospect, I've thought that perhaps he just wanted to be nice, and that it was rude of me to not participate in his invitation to conversation (hoho it rhymes). But then again, it's not as easy as it may sound. It's so darn tragic that it is impossible for girls to have a conversation with a stranger that is a man. To always be afraid that he might want something more than just a conversation, to be afraid of giving the wrong vibes. To wait for the right time to tell the person that you have a partner; and wait for the right time to put it in a relevant context; "oh well, my partner likes that book too".
On three occasions men have walked up to me when I've been walking around alone in London. There's something about the air here. Once I waited for my boyfriend at Picadilly, whence a guy walks up to me, comment my looks (as if I asked about his opinion?), and started to talk about the weather. I had to stand there and wait, so I tried to get rid of him by giving him cold answers or completely ignoring him at times, until he, without any reason, hugs me tight and don't let me go. I got him off of me, and told him that I needed to go, thinking that I could wait on the other side of the fountain. He stopped me again by telling me how "beautiful Swedes are" (I swear, these men must have some secret meetings together to come up with the worst pick-up lines ever), I answer with a "Yeah yeah, beautiful as hell, bye", then he pulls my arm and starts to kiss it! What the bloody hell! By then, I'm pissed with a pisseness beyond the universe and start to roar about how my boyfriend will show up at any time, of which he replies (literally) "Boyfriend? Oh gosh!" and then run for his life. Interesting how he can't take my "no", but he can take my partner's before they've even met.
To another point: why would I even want to talk to a man? Men is completely uninteresting to me. I have nothing in common with men. From my bitter experience, they've got bad taste in literature, art, and general enjoyment in life (sparkly wine). In addition, they dress terribly.
(I might go over the top here, but it's 80% true!)
If you're a girl and see me stand in a bookshop, I'll be more than happy to speak to you.
That's it!
